Obviously you never know what is coming around the corner, but we still look forward and make plans. Having a vision of the life you want to live, and a road-map to get you there helps you to focus on the things that are important to you. If life throws you a curve-ball, you can reassess and adjust your plans, but at least you know the overall direction you are heading.
These are the principles I follow as I make my plans for the year. I know what I want – but I’m prepared to redraw the route as I go.
For example, I haven’t made quite as much progress with some of these as I’d like through January – it’s been a very busy month at work, and I’ve also had a horrible cough and cold that I can’t seem to shift, which has made me pretty tired. However – there’s always next month!
Make every day an adventure. A chance to make life better – for yourself and/or for people around you. Make life fun. Surround yourself with people who you love and who fill you with joy.
New Year – new plans
Following last year – I’ve set myself a range of goals and lifestyle choices. Each week, I’ll aim to do something towards each life area. Mostly, the stuff I post here on the blog will be connected to what I am doing in these areas. Of course, I’ll be aiming to tackle all these areas of my life with a playful, joy and fun-seeking attitude.
Health
Get down to 75kg
Exercise at least 3 times per week
I’ve got lots of adventures in mind, and I want to make sure that I can fully enjoy them. So… making healthy choices and making sure that I make time to be active.
Career
Self-publish short books on Amazon.
I’ve already published the first one – “My Life Planner”. This link takes you there, but I’ll publish a blog about it very soon.
Wealth
Make sure I actually know where my pension is
I know, I know. This is something that as an adult I really should have a handle on.
Travel
Trip to Amsterdam, trip to Spain, maybe a UK city break to Edinburgh in the Autumn.
These are our travel plans this year.
Family
Make sure I spend 1:1 time with both kids
I want to make sure I do this before they get too big and don’t want to anymore.
Regular date night with Hubster.
We actually like spending time together, but don’t often do it without the children.
Communicate regularly with mum, dad and sisters.
They live an hour and a half away. I want to make sure that I get on the phone regularly, and also get to see them face-to-face at least every few weeks.
Lifestyle
Put our personality all over the house and garden.
This will include painting a tree mural across the sloped bedroom ceiling among other things.
Mini-adventures once a week
This could be anything from our regular kayaking with St Austell Canoe Club, or it could be a picnic tea at a local beauty spot, a walking or cycling expedition or a trip out to a beach, town or city.
Cut down on plastic packaging, shop local and start litter-picking.
All about the planet, and supporting my local community.
Creativity
Blog
Use this blog much more as a creative outlet and to celebrate all the rest of this!
Craft
Complete some of the many half-started or half-imagined craft projects I have on the go. Aiming to finish something every month. Already in January I’ve knitted a snake (of course! Just to use up some of my wool stash!)
Knowledge
Continue learning Spanish
I like to think my French isn’t too bad, but I have very little Spanish aside from being able to count to 10. Hubster and I started Spanish lessons in September, in preparation for our trip to Northern Spain this summer. I’m really enjoying it and am having a lot of fun trying to bend my brain to memorise new vocabulary.
Learn some philosophy
I read so much that references Kant, Rousseau, Aristotle and Plato – but really have very little idea what their ideas are all about. So it’s time I sort that out. My aim is to read some philosophy books. I made a good start in January with the fun book “Plato and a Platypus walk into a bar” but there’s a long way to go before I could confidently say what the main ideas of the key philosophers are about.
Relationships
Make new friends and pay attention to the old.
No, old friends, I’m not saying anything about your age! Just saying that you are all wonderful and I need to make sure that I show you how much I value you, by actually spending some time with you.
What has January held?
We saw in New Year at home, but all managed to stay awake until midnight, where I made the children dance to Auld Lang Syne and supped on the sloe gin my niece made for me in the Summer. New Year’s Day we headed to The Lost Garden’s of Heligan with father-in-law. A week later we headed down to Gwithian Towan’s beach for a sea-swim, then across to St Michael’s Mount for some sunset photos. We spent a weekend up in Stoke-on-Trent with father-in-law, commemorating my lovely mother-in-law, who died last January. We spent a day browsing and having fun in Truro. Then last weekend we went to the open-day at Callywith College for the boy, then for lunch and a walk at National Trust Lanhydrock House
Plymouth Christmas market (we won’t bother with this one again!)
Mevagissey (twice)
Jools Holland concert
Getting ready for Christmas
How are we doing?
Are we feeling playful?
In all honesty – not really at the moment! I’m full of cold with a horrible sore throat and a cough which means I’m not sleeping. While I can manage pretty well on a bad night’s sleep, I’m not doing so well with four nights on hardly any sleep.
However, Christmas is coming, and that does bring out the playful side in some people. My 12 year-old daughter absolutely loves the magic of Christmas – she is making decorations, getting Secret Santa gifts, decorating her own tree in her bedroom, planning how to decorate a Yule Log, watching Christmas movies and generally showing the rest of us how it ought to be done if only we had the energy. I’m sure once I’ve caught up on some sleep and fought off this virus I’ll be a bit more on board.
The work Christmas party
I had a bit of an odd work Christmas party. First off, let me tell you that I LOVE a work ‘do’. My husband keeps himself to himself and we don’t tend to go “out out” very much at all apart from the odd family meal or a music event or theatre – so I take the opportunity to dress up a bit and have a good time. As a teacher, these work events tended to happen at Christmas and at the end of the Summer term. With my new job, where I am working on my own almost all the time, working one-to-one with clients or visiting schools, it felt even more important to get together with the team and get to know the others better. It was a bit disappointing, therefore, to find that I was the only one from my team due to attend. The first bit of fun was that I turned up on the wrong night! This was entirely my fault, I’d managed to write the incorrect date in two different calendars, even though the email had the correct date! Because I wasn’t expecting to know many people, it took me a moment to realise that in fact I didn’t recognise ANYBODY, and when I asked, I found that this was in fact the “South West Chimney Sweep” Christmas party – though they did invite me to join them! Fast forward to the next evening and attempt number two. Not only nobody from my team, but in fact nobody else from our entire side of the organisation. Luckily I didn’t stay Billy No-Mates for very long, as some friendly folk took pity on me and invited me to move my chair and come and join them, and I did have a lovely evening (and a LOT to eat!). My team did make up for it slightly by having tinsel crowns and Christmas music playing at our quarterly team meeting this week.
Thinking of others
To be honest, one more thing is making me hesitate a bit more about the Christmas decadence this year too. I have come across a family of five who have recently been made homeless. No fault of theirs. The landlord wants to sell so issued a Section 21 eviction notice, but there just aren’t enough properties for locals to rent in Cornwall because of the massive number of second homes, summer rentals and air b and bs here, so they couldn’t find anywhere. They were advised that the council couldn’t help them until they were actually homeless and they should wait until the bailiffs came. So now that’s happened, and they are in emergency accommodation in a room in a Travelodge, presumably over Christmas, with nowhere to store or prepare food – so having to eat out (and into their savings) to feed the family. I just think it’s so awful that families are having to face this, and feel so lucky. It’s making me more determined to think of ways to look after others this Christmas.
Working for Christmas
Another thing that will make Christmas a bit different this year, is that it’s the first time in quite a while that my husband will be working over Christmas. Of course, sick people people don’t stop being sick over Christmas (though I believe they try to get as many of them home to spend time with family as possible), and doctors and nurses still need to be at work in hospital. C will be on-call and on the ward in the run up to Christmas, and with a lot more work to cover, as the junior doctors have called a strike that week, and will then be working on Christmas Day – before having a few days off. Christmas Dinner and gift opening will wait until he gets home. We will also be hosting my father-in-law, who will be facing his first Christmas since his wife died in January (having taken ill last Christmas Day / Boxing Day).
A quiet Christmas
With all this going on, I think Christmas this year is going to be a low-key, simple affair – plenty of board games, movies and short walks, and I’m planning to take Father-in-law to the Nine Carols and Lessons at Truro Cathedral too, which should be quite lovely.
So how are you feeling this December? What’s going on with you? Will you be going to a busy or quiet Christmas? Please leave your thoughts in the comments.
#MySundaySnapshot is an internet link-up from Rachel Swirl. On a Sunday, you post a snapshot that says something about your week – with as few words as possible.
I’m going to say a few words with this one. Goodbye to an amazing lady – playful, intelligent, strong, funny, caring and soooo generous with your time and your talents.
Welcome to 2023! We’ve made it through another year of chaos and madness and are ready to hit the “refresh” button.
This means I am making some changes to the blog. For the last 13 years I’ve had my personal blog on a blogger site inkspotsandgrassstains. For a couple of reasons, I’ve decided to close down my blogger blog, and to make this blog here at The Playful Way more personal. One is that the Blogger platform, which I joined so long ago, has not really kept pace with the technology. The other is that I’m a busy person, and I can’t keep two blogs on the go, so I’ve been doing neither!
I’ll come clean right now. I’m unlikely to have a blogging schedule. I’m unlikely to follow all the rules of SEO and I don’t have any plans at this stage to start stuffing my blog posts with affiliate links or other “monetization” strategies, though I may point you in the direction of my own money-making endeavours every now and then when I create them.
At some point in the coming days I’ll try to turn all my previous inkspotsandgrassstains content into PDF form and host it all on here (because some of it was pretty good!).
So, welcome, come along for the ride, and join me in 2023 as I continue my journey to a more playful, happy and fulfilled life, and try to help everybody else come on the same journey.
So what do we have planned for 2023?
I’m trying not to give myself a whole lot of resolutions or plans for 2023 which I then don’t do and feel bad about it. So I’m focusing on a few projects at a time. Here are my first four.
01
Project GARDEN
Project number 1! I’m turning our bare patch of garden (it was just a lawn and a large greenhouse before) into a productive and beautiful space. I’m aiming to break the back of the landscaping in January so I can plant fruit trees and build a willow sculpture before the Spring comes along. Then I can spend the Spring getting more plants in and sowing seeds, and the Summer adding all those beautiful and playful little touches, and actually enjoying the garden.
02
Project INDEPENDENT INCOME
Much as I love teaching, I don’t plan on being a classroom teacher this time next year. I’m currently working as a Supply teacher, which gives a lot of flexibility, but I’m building a bank of teaching resources for sale, writing my first e-book and marketing my parties and school workshops as well as continuing with art and crafts. The plan is that I can build multiple small income streams. I have also applied for a job for a charity, working with and supporting children – I have an interview for that on Thursday!
03
Project MAKE FRIENDS
Having relocated in Summer 2022, as a family we are settling into our new lives in beautiful Cornwall. However, I’m a friendly, sociable kind of person, and without the “school gate mates” that you get taking the children to a primary school and pitching in with the PTFA; without the work friends that you get if you are in a regular job; I haven’t yet “found my tribe”. I firmly believe that humans are made to be sociable, and that our current screen-oriented, nuclear-family society doesn’t encourage the building of meaningful, supportive, friend relationships. My intention this year is to make connections with people. I’ve already identified groups and places to target: St Austell Bluetits (outdoor swimmers – the Facebook Group reveals a lot of fun and playfulness); St Austell Canoe Club – we’re already members and there are some great people here; local art and crafters; St Austell Friends (this is a Facebook Group with a lot of members, based on their lovely posts, there are a few people I’d love to reach out to); my neighbours.
My intention is to start going along to groups and meet-ups, and reaching out to people to suggest getting together for a coffee etc.
04
Project ACTIVE ADVENTURE
We have also stopped our volunteering with The Scouts, which, while incredibly rewarding in many ways, had become more of a burden than a joy. Without this time sink, we have found more time for adventures. However, I’ve also found my fitness somewhat lacking. This year I plan to log our adventures of all types, to intentionally adventure – on the coast path, on the moors, on our holidays, up hills, kayaking, cycling, walking, swimming, snorkelling, fire and den building. A year of adventures!
Are you looking for things to do in lockdown? We’re now a year into the Covid crisis and our ideas bucket might be getting a little empty. Every day feels like the Groundhog and you can’t wait for schools to go back? Don’t worry, you’re not alone.
This Spring feels very strange for those of us at home with children. We’ve had them at home with us the whole time since they broke up for Christmas! However, it’s important that we make weekends and “not at school” times feel different for our children. We’re not just talking about keeping the kids occupied, it’s much more important than that. The monotony of a year where opportunities for holidays, going out to the shops, seeing friends and family, meals out, parties and activities like soft-play, swimming pools or school discos have been severely limited means that every day begins to feel like the groundhog day.
Humans (and monkeys too, research from Rome has confirmed) like variety. You’ve heard the old adage “A change is as good as a rest”, the times when we are not doing school-dictated activity are a great opportunity to inject some variety for yourself as well as your children.
In the past I’ve talked often about the importance of allowing children to develop boredom, not to over-organise or over-structure their day-to-day lives, to allow their imaginations to flourish and increase the opportunities for free play. I’m going to suggest that at this point, our children have had plenty of opportunity for free-play and imagination this past twelve months. They’ve sadly had to occupy themselves apart from their peers, which makes free play and imagination so much harder. Right now, they probably need a bit of direction and support.
If you’re also trying to work from home, or are having to go out to work and juggle childcare (difficult to access at the moment) this can be particularly hard. However, I’d suggest that both you and your child need that emotional connection more than ever that you get from doing things together.
The ideas below for fun things to do in lockdown range from quick ideas you can use to inspire your children to go and do alone, to more complex activities that you will need to do together. There are indoor and outdoor activities and ideas targeting younger children as well as older. There is bound to be something to suit you.
Indoor things to do in lockdown
Building
Are those big boxes of Lego or other building blocks gathering dust in the corner? Sometimes all the children need is a bit of inspiration. Whether you search for “Fun things to make with Lego” (producing results like this) or you set a “build the longest bridge” type challenge. To really get them engaged, even older kids will value having you sit and build with them as they get started. Once their imagination is in full flow, you can nip off to make a cup-of-tea and they won’t even notice you’ve gone. Unless of course, you’re having so much fun that you want to stay and play!
Hide and seek or sardines
Easy to play and a lot of fun, though better with more players so best for a large family. We all know how to play Hide and Seek. In Sardines, one person hides, then as each player finds them, they have to squeeze into the same hiding place.
Paper mache
A great (if messy) craft for all ages. A quick internet search will reveal tons of inspiring ideas and you can always make something that fits into whatever your child is interested in, from dinosaur eggs to frog pots, from spooky castles to fairy palaces. This easy and cheap craft requires patience as you wait for layers to dry before adding the next bit, but the results can be spectacular.
Salt dough crafts
Another craft that requires virtually nothing in the way of material (just flour, salt and water, and some paints to finish off). You can create decorations, wall plaques or even doll-house food!
Junk Modelling
Raid the recycle bin to create some amazing creations: from monster robots to castles, egg box crocodiles to space rockets and milk carton cities.
Baking
This is definitely a win-win activity. Not only do you keep a little person very busy, teach them measuring skills, food hygiene and the importance of cleaning up after themselves, but you also get a tasty treat to eat at the end of all the fun!
Make bookmarks
If your child loves to read, then they will always be looking for something to mark their place in their book. A bookmark making activity is both practical and fun. Whether you go down the origami route, drawing and laminating, or sewing using binca or felt, there will be a bookmark activity to suit you and your kids.
Movie theatre
We can’t go to the cinema at the moment, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make the experience. Choose a great movie you all want to watch, dim the lights, put up the volume and snuggle down with a bowl of popcorn each.
Scout Activities
The Scouts have been inspiring children and guiding them through learning skills for life in hands-on activities for over a Century. Where better to turn for some great ideas for our children during lock-down. Scouts – The Great Indoors is a great collection of activities curated by The Scouts during the first lockdown. Even better – you might consider joining your local Scout Group (for boys and girls 6-18), many have been offering online Scouting throughout the pandemic as well as outdoor activities whenever restrictions allow.
“Let’s go Live” and other Science experiments
There are lots of Science experiments and activities to do at home floating around the internet. Some require a bit of preparation and equipment, others are a bit easier to manage. An example is here on Good Housekeeping, or here on ScienceFun.org. To get really inspired though, I would highly recommend “Let’s Go Live“, with Maddie and Greg on YouTube. They present a fun video introducing a scenario, the Science and a lot of fun each week.
Board Games and Card Games
Yes, it’s time to get the Board Games and Card games out. You’ll often need to do these with your children to begin with, while you teach them how to play and how to both win and lose gracefully!
Dressing up!
You don’t have to go out and buy a whole load of fancy-dress costumes. A selection of hats, bags, scarves, and access to mum or dad’s wardrobe will provide a wealth of fun! A challenge to “see who can wear the strangest costume” is a great way to get things started.
Making things in miniature
There are many great things about making things in miniature, but I’ll be honest, some of my favourites are that they don’t use up much material and the projects don’t take up a lot of space! An internet search for “mini crafts for kids” reveals some lovely ideas from mini books to tiny polymer clay animals. Model railway scenery or dollhouse or fairy garden accessories also fall firmly into this category.
Home-made playdough
I’m a big fan of playdough. Not only is it fun, encourages creativity and imagination along with literacy skills as the child tells you what they are making, but it also builds up those motor skills and hand-eye coordination which are so important as children begin to write. Here’s my recipe for home-made playdough: Mix 1 cup of plain flour, 1 cup water, 1/2 cup salt, 2tbsp veg oil, 2tbsp cream of tartare and food colouring in a saucepan over a medium heat. Keep stirring as it turns from liquid to a dryish doughy mix. This mix will keep well if covered.
Paper aeroplanes
This is an excellent STEM challenge for older challenge. There are a host of paper aeroplane instructions out there for lots of different aeroplane shapes. Challenge your child or children to experiment with plane types, paper weight and size to find the best paper aeroplane in the following categories – paper plane that flies furthest, flies fastest, and is most acrobatic.
Water play
Technically this could be an indoor or an outdoor activity, but I’ve put it here because people often overlook the potential for water play indoors. Kitchen’s can usually be mopped, or the bath is a great place to contain water. Whether this is a toddler just having a good splash and pouring water from one container to another, or an older child creating miniature boats, or finding a way to move water uphill, there’s something for everybody here.
Recycle box aquarium
This is one of the simplest ideas, and yet will not only occupy a rainy afternoon, but also creates something that can look great! Cut one side out of a cereal box. Paint the outside. Decorate the inside to look like an aquarium, then hang your fish from the top so they “swim”. Fantastic!
Painting
Children LOVE painting and there are lots of reasons why it’s a valuable activity for them to do. You can read a summary here at the Innovation Kids Lab. When my children were small I tended to get them to paint at an easel outdoors where possible, or in the kitchen with no clothes on! As they got older, we had two types of paint – poster paints required table covering, aprons, and cleaning up together. I also bought one of those tins of water colour tablets each for them (cheap and easy to get hold of). These are a lot less messy and meant that the children could paint whenever they wanted to. Now, aged 10 and 11, they have access to a whole range of paints and are confident to both use them, and clean up after themselves!
Microwave mug cakes and armpit fudge
We’ve already talked about baking, but these are super-easy, super-quick, minimal equipment baking wonders. Here are 34 different mug-cake recipes from Country Living Magazine. Armpit fudge is one that sounds disgusting, but the kids will adore squishing all the ingredients together in a zip-lock bag under their arm and then digging in for a sweet-treat. Full instructions here at www.mum-friendly.co.uk.
Housework
I know, right? This is a radical idea. My eleven year-old still seems surprised when I expect him to help out around the house, despite the fact that we’ve been doing it since he was a toddler. However, the importance of teaching children life skills, and the self-esteem they get from being useful can’t be overestimated. In addition, doing housework together is more fun!
Dance contest or Zumba
Some kids just love to move and there’s no reason why this can’t happen in lockdown. Dance mats and the software to run them are available for most games consoles, but you could also play videos of dance routines or Zumba to join in with, some are designed specifically to be child-friendly, or just put the music on loud and jump and dance around the room together like crazy.
Outdoor things to do in lockdown
Getting outdoors is more important than ever. When you are cooped up in the same four walls day after day, little niggles soon become big irritations. Getting some fresh air and exercise will make everybody feel better. However, current guidance restricting travel for exercise, even a trip to the Gruffalo Trail at the local nature reserve is advised against. Try some of these activities instead:
Treasure Hunt
A way to make a walk more fun and increase observation skills. Take a list of things to spot on your daily walk around the block. This might include: somebody walking a dog, somebody with a push-chair, a red front door, a car from another country, somebody on a bike, snowdrops or crocuses. Tick them off together as you find them.
Local Park
The current rules state that playparks remain open primarily for those children who do not have their own garden. You can take your child to a playpark for exercise, but you should not socialise with other people while there.
Bug Hunt
A bug hunt in the garden is a great way to get the children closer to nature in your own back garden and requires no equipment. At this time of year, the bugs are hiding away, so it’s quite challenging.
Chalk Drawing
Get a pack of chalks and draw on the walls or paving slabs outside (it will all wash away in the rain). Younger children will just enjoy making marks with a different medium, while older children can really exercise their artistic talents – there are some lovely ideas here and here.
Build a nest
This activity really gets children thinking about how amazing birds are. Make a bird nest using only natural materials. Here are the instructions.
Feed the birds
This is the time of year when birds are most in need of a helping hand. The insects are still hidden away for the winter, seeds are becoming scarce and mating and nesting is underway using up a lot of birdie energy. Whether filling up bought bird feeders or making your own feeders from pipe-cleaners and Cheerios, from empty plastic bottlesor from toilet roll tubes.
Create frozen suncatchers
Frozen suncatchers will get your little ones thinking about the weather, and also about the natural materials around them. Find the instructions here.
Geocaching
With a free version of the Geocaching app, this is basically a free global treasure hunt! Just create an account and you could soon be spicing up your walks by searching for and finding caches hidden on your route.
Whittling
Knife crime is reaching horrific rates, with more than 35,000 knife offences recorded between March 2019 and March 2020. Rather than trying to keep our young people away from knives, we need to 1) give them confidence to tackle conflict in peaceful ways and 2) teach them that knives are useful tools to be handled safely, rather than weapons. Some great advice on types of knife, safety and inks to appropriate videos and books, can be found on the fabulous Get Out With the Kids.
Firelighting
As a Scout Leader, I love teaching children to light fires. First, you teach the theory and the safety – how to do the activity safely, when to light fires and when not to, adult supervision, where to light fires, extinguishing fires safely etc. For beginners, lighting a match and lighting a candle is challenge enough. Then progress on to learning about different types of kindling and fuel, and how to construct and build a fire. Just collecting wood is an activity in itself! As they get more experienced, you can look at lighting fires without using a match, trying out flint and steel, rubbing two sticks and the like.
Bike ride
A bike ride is a brilliant way to keep fit and explore the area where you live. Work out a safe cycle route, with as few roads as possible (or very quiet ones) and get out exploring on two wheels.
Place Kindness Rocks
Painting rocks is a lovely creative activity. You can either paint images, turn your rock into a whimsical creature, or decorate your rock with a kind and inspiring quote. On your next walk, place these inspiring rocks for others to find on their walks, and spread a little love and happiness.
Gardening
There are so many reasons to garden with children that I could write a whole blog post about it (and I might!). From engaging senses, linking with nature, learning where food comes from, motor skills, vocabulary and more, spending time engaged in active work outdoors is really fulfilling and doing it together gives time to chat and spend time together.
Night hike
Going for a walk, even somewhere familiar, suddenly becomes more interesting and exciting if you go out in the dark. The use of a torch is fun by itself, but try switching the torches off and see how your eyesight adjusts to the lower light levels and how your brain compensates by intensifying your other senses of smell and hearing. You might even be lucky enough to spot more interesting wildlife such as bats, owls, foxes, hedgehogs or badgers that you wouldn’t see in daylight.
Create a “percussion wall”
Hang various old pans, wooden spoons and pipes and tubes from a wall, fence or tree in your garden to make a space where noise-making is encouraged and celebrated.
Star gazing
Before sunset gets too late for the little ones, take the opportunity to spend some time looking at the stars. On a cloudless night, find the darkest place you can, away from street lights if possible – just a few miles out into the country makes all the difference, if restrictions allow. Take a deckchair or blanket so you can lie down, and snuggle down into a sleeping bag or more blankets and check out the stars. There are plenty of apps out there such as Star Chart or StarGazing that can tell you what you are looking at. If you have a telescope or binoculars, you can examine the moon and stars more closely. Keep warm with a hot chocolate.
Winter photography
How often do your children get involved with photography aside from daft selfies? Encourage them to broaden their photography horizons with a winter picture challenge. Any camera will do. Whether its getting up close to a dew-spangled spider-web, or taking photos of a hare in a snowy field, winter holds some fascinating scenes for those who take the trouble to frame a shot.
Outdoor noughts and crosses
So quick and easy to create, this can provide a quick activity for children to do together or with you at any time. Paint pebbles in two different ways (I love this bumble bee and ladybird idea from Red Ted Art). A 3 x 3 grid painted on a paving slab or log slice creates the playing zone.
Winter BBQ or cooking on an open fire
Following on from the firelighting activity earlier comes the liberating activity of cooking on fire. Reaching back through the mists of time to prepare food just the way your ancestors did (or just toasting marshmallows on sticks!), is a fun and creative activity and creates a whole new taste adventure. Look up “Backwoods cooking recipes” or “cooking on open fire” for some great suggestions.
Stick sword fight
So often in our risk-averse world we tell children to “put that stick down” or “watch out” and “be careful!”. Wouldn’t it be great to take the brakes off and allow them to stick fight – or better yet, join in with them too!
Local area exploration
Are your children often ferried in the car from activity to activity? This is particularly true for families in rural areas and you may have found that your “daily exercise” in lockdown has been the first time you’ve roamed your neighbourhood footpaths and byways. It’s always fun to take time to “see where this goes” or follow a coin-toss adventure (at every junction toss a coin – heads = right, tails = left) to see where you end up.
I hope that you’ve found some great ideas for things to do in lockdown with your children at this time of year, despite the weather and the covid restrictions. I’ll be writing in more detail about some of these activities in future posts, so do keep coming back for more. I’d also love you to comment your own ideas of activities you’ve been doing with the children this Spring.
You may have heard me mention that play is important. It’s important for child development, but it has many benefits for adults too.
Despite knowing the benefits, statistics show that the amount of time set aside for play has been declining for decades. All adults out at work mean family time is tighter and more scheduled and structured. Parents are more fearful about allowing their children to play outside or unsupervised and the power of the screen is pulling children and adults away from creative, imaginative or physical play.
Improve brain function
The mental activity involved in playing games such as chess, bridge or cards, doing puzzles and jigsaws keep the brain active and help to ward off memory problems.
Learn more
We learn best when we are having fun. If you are in a relaxed and playful mood your brain is more receptive to new ideas and building connections.
Relieve stress
Play can trigger the release of natural body chemicals called endorphins. These make you feel good. Playing with family and friends provides a social network that can ward off stress and depression.
Boost creativity
Play relies on imagination. Imagination is what helps us to “think outside the box” to be creative and to solve problems.
Improve relationships
Having fun together develops empathy, compassion and trust. Being playful can help you as you approach new situations, meet strangers and foster new business relationships.
Develop Social Skills
Children learn social skills as part of the give and take of play. From learning that snatching a toy from another child makes them sad to feeling how cooperative play is more fun than solo. They learn verbal and non-verbal communication, boundaries, cooperation and teamwork.
Decision making
When we choose how to play we practice decision making skills and discover our own areas of interest.
Active and healthy
While there are many benefits to playing computer games, they are highly addictive. Active play, on the other hand, helps to build healthy bodies, increasing physical activity.
I really like the infographic on thegeniusofplay.org, which shows some of the facts and stats about why play is important, and tells you the study or work that provided the information.
Do you ever find yourself wondering where the fun has gone from family life? You and your partner used to have fun, right? That’s why you chose to spend life together. Somehow, the joy is harder to find as you work hard to keep a roof over your heads, ferry children from one activity to the next, arrive at home and all collapse in front of your various screens. Is this what it’s really all about?
In recent months many of us have spent more time with our partners and children than perhaps we have ever spent before. It’s been hard! Attempting to work from home, manage the children’s learning and somehow keep everybody on an emotional even keel can put strain on even the best family relationships.
It was when I realised that I was worrying about my to do list and not enjoying spending time with my children, and that they were crying out for some positive attention as they tried to navigate their way through the covid lockdown, that I knew we needed to put some playfulness back in our family life.
“Play is any activity that allows you for a moment to celebrate your existence wholeheartedly and unashamedly.” Rebecca Abrams
Playfulness doesn’t have to involve getting down and playing Barbies with your four-year-old daughter… though of course it can.
Instead, Playfulness is about building a better family relationships by having fun together. In a stressful world, where we’ve got used to being “grown up”, sometimes that can be hard to find. Here are some ways to find a more playful family relationship:
Family game time
The first thing I introduced was game time. We spend so long telling the children that we are “too busy” to play. I wanted to ensure that they knew that playtime was now a priority, so after dinner every day for a week, we played a game. Sometimes it was darts, sometimes cards, once Scrabble. It was a time for us all to do something together. After that, if any member of the family suggests a game of any sort, I’m in.
Share humour
In the back of the car yesterday my son made a comment about the funny name of a village we passed. I put down my magazine and joined and extended the joke. We spent the next ten minutes giggling as we played with village names and had fun together.
Race and rough and tumble together
I used to play a great game with my children (I think I read about it in the wonderful Tom Hodgkinson’s “The Idle Parent”). It’s called “Tickle or Trap”. You, the parent, need only sit on the sofa. The children run up to you and you ask “Tickle or trap?” If they say “Tickle” then you have to grab them and tickle them, if they say “trap” then you have to grab hold of them and give them a big hug. The idea is that they have to run away when they say the word so you have to catch them to trap or tickle, but in reality they are loving the rough and tumble so much that they don’t move fast and before long you are both dissolved in giggles. Now my children are a bit bigger but they still absolutely love it when I join them for a game of hide and seek, sardines, tickle-fighting or other such nonsense, and I’ll quite often liven up a walk with a “race you to that tree!”
Enjoy a crisis
As a child I have fond memories of car break-downs. In my memory we spent a lot of time jump-starting the car, but certainly every family holiday involved a ride in a recovery truck at some point. To us, this was a huge adventure! Sometimes, when things go wrong, the best way to deal with it is with a healthy dose of humour and a spirit of adventure. Compare these two walks:
Walking in the Malverns, my daughter lost her camera. I was furious. We retraced our steps to try and find it, I lost the dog lead, then we lost the dog. We found the dog, returned eventually to the car-park where a lady handed us the missing camera (she’d recognised us from the photos).
The route on the map took us across a golf course. I think I exited the golf course at the wrong place because we ended up wading through a field of head-high ferns and nettles, lifting the dog and the children over a barbed-wire fence or two.
In both walks, all ended well. However, the second walk is remembered fondly by all as a great adventure, while the first was an absolute disaster. The difference was entirely in how I reacted to the crises on the day.
Be a bit spontaneous
Routines are great for helping to ground children and make them feel secure. However, one of the best things about a routine is the joy of breaking that routine every now and then. Get the children up before dawn and climb a hill to watch the sunrise. The adventure is in the unusual.
The adventure is in the unusual.
Gamify the boring stuff
Children find transitioning from one activity to another hard. When they are engrossed in what they are doing they find it hard to extricate themselves and move on to the next task. In addition, tidying up, getting dressed, brushing teeth, and putting shoes on are all necessary but irritating intrusions on the fun part of the day. You’ve got two options… you can either nag and scold the child and end up frustrated, cross and late… or you can join your child in the play that they are engrossed in, engage with them briefly there, and then move them on: “Shall we park the cars over here so they can wait for you when you come back? Great! You parked yours quickly. Now… I bet you get your shoes on the right feet. I’ll do up this shoe, you do the other one. If you brush your teeth for two minutes I’ll let you tickle me for 10 seconds!”
For yourself, think about how you can make your boring tasks more fun. I hate ironing, but I love to put on my cheesiest, most karaoke friendly music and sing loudly while I do it. Suddenly the job seems more fun.
Make mealtimes fun
By the time they are 18 children will have experienced over 6000 meal times. Nothing makes me sadder than the sight of families out for a meal together with the children fixed to a screen while they wait. This is a time when the family are altogether and it doesn’t take much to infuse it with a bit of fun to help build family relationships. You could read from a joke book, play a word game or ask silly (deeply philosophical) questions: if you were an animal, what would you be? What colour was today?
Humour me
Sometimes children can be emotional or angry. That’s absolutely fine. No emotion is unacceptable. However, we need to help our children to manage their response to their emotions and to move through them. A great way to do this is with a sense of humour. While acknowledging their feelings, try to get them to see the funny side of the situation. As I say to my children, “you have no control over what has happened, but you do have control over how you react to it.” The question, “What’s the worst thing that could happen?” is a good one. It not only helps put things in perspective, but its also an avenue to come up with all sorts of preposterous possibilities which can inject a dose of humour.
Playfulness helps build family relationships
Playfulness means having fun, letting go, being yourself and being creative. Playfulness means sharing joy and making one another happy. This is what family life should be all about. We are there for one another in tough times, and we help one another find the pleasure in everyday life. Society today is increasingly fragmented. Mental health issues, obesity and suicide are all on the rise. Stronger family relationships, built by having fun together, are key to building resilience and mental strength. They give us the confidence to go out there and make the world a better place.